It’s amazing how much your life can change in a year. Around this time last year I had decided to take a break from pursuing my “career” and just relax for a while. My work at bebin.tv ended when the site shut down on January of 2009 and I immediately began going on as many auditions as possible.

Going on auditions is just one of those things that you either love or hate. Having had conversations with many people on this topic, I can say that not very many love the process. First of all, it’s nerve wrecking having someone, with the power to ‘make or break you’, size you up constantly. Second, it crushes your ego and self confidence sitting in the lobby with a handful of other girls who are skinnier, prettier, livelier, more energetic and you can’t help but wonder if one of these girls sitting with you is going to get the gig–or will it be 1 of the other 90 girls not sitting there with you? Thirdly, it’s not just an exhausting process of doing your hair and makeup but 9 out of 10 the audition happens to fall at a time that you’ll be stuck in the most amount of traffic coming AND going!

With all this said, I actually LOVE going on auditions! The anxiety and nervousness is like a drug for me! It gets me pumped and excited and leaves me with a lovely adrenaline rush all throughout the day.

However with THAT said, less than 6 months into going on auditions and callbacks with no end result, I decided to take a little breather and enjoy married life. My husband and I decided to celebrate our 1 year anniversary at the Bahamas (we actually wanted to initially go to Cabo but with all the talk of Swine Flu hitting the airwaves, we figured Cabo could wait). So as our 1 year of marriage was rolling over into 2 years, having a baby continued to surface as a topic of conversation. I must have taken the idea of enjoying married life pretty seriously because in less than a month hubby and I had spent a week at the Bahamas, gone to Disneyland and California Adventures (2fer tickets), enjoyed a ‘Gondola Getaway’ at Long Beach and best of all, we were having a baby!

This time last year I didn’t even know I was pregnant. This time last year it was still just me and my best friend talking about expanding our family to 3. This time last year we didn’t know anything of the future, just our hopes and dreams. This time last year 1 of our hopes became a reality and now, today, she is a living dream. It’s crazy to think that I’m a mommy, that I gave birth to a healthy and gorgeous baby girl whose smile lights up my world. This time last year I drank wine, I slept in, I lived for myself. But now I live for my baby. 3 1/2 months post baby and all I can think of again are going on auditions! This time not for myself, but for her. I’ve been pursuing journalism, be it broascast, entertainment or print, since I was in college. And although I haven’t made it big, I have been surviving in the field. During my pregnancy, a part of me kept thinking that maybe I should stop and pursue something much more lucrative and, alas, realistic. But will that make me happy? At the end of the day what do I really want to teach my baby? To pursue her dreams. To do what makes her happy. I have to teach her by example. This time last year I was going back and forth, racking my brain on different career paths. Thanks to my baby girl, I don’t have to dwell on the obvious.

MY LAST TIME GETTING DRUNK OFF WINE!!