I had a friend ask me an interesting question yesterday while we were out running errands for Lily’s birthday party. One I’ve thought about often in my own head, but never really addressed out loud. “Is it true you don’t have a life once you have kids?” My friend asked. I smiled at the question because it’s one I struggled with in the first few months within having Lily and, every once in a while, still think about. “Yea, you do lose your life” I shrugged, “but, honestly, I’m the happiest I’ve ever been.” “It’s not like we were really into partying that we’d miss not doing it anymore,” she said. “I know! Remember you’d have to drag me to go out with you at nights? But it’s even the little things you really can’t do anymore. Like, I can’t go to a bookstore to leisurely browse their books over a cup of coffee. Everything just changes, but it’s not a bad thing. Why, who told you your life ends?” “EVERYBODY! You’re the only person I know who is happily married with a kid. Everyone else is miserable.” I wasn’t really sure what to say to that, except, “I’ve always wanted to be a mom. When people daydreamed about their wedding, I dreamed about my kids and what I’d name them. I can’t imagine working right now and missing these most important years of her life! I think a lot of people have babies without realizing the responsibility and self sacrifice that goes into it.” “Yeah,” she replied, “like my ex-best-friend, when she met her husband they both just disowned all their friends and do everything together. She said she doesn’t want kids because it will get in the way of how much fun they have together.” “That’s good that she knows she doesn’t want them before it’s too late!” I intercepted, “That’s why a lot of people are miserable, they realize after!”

What do you all think of this conversation? Are a lot of people you know miserable in their relationship and regretting that they have kids? How do you balance your “me” time in between kids and everything else?